Over the last two weeks an anonymous soul took pity on my emerging writing skills. Anon dissected my writing sample and offered up invaluable expertise for which I’m very grateful. Anon criticized my dialogue this way.

“It needs to be natural. This is not natural:

‘We like to entertain, and it’s nice to have formal place settings.’

This is more natural:

‘Parties. You know. We like to have people over.’ Sean reached for two large boxes in the back of the Escalade.”

You will all likely agree that Anon’s rendering flows better, sounds better. This is not the first time I’ve received this criticism. However, it’s the first time the critiquer’s example sounded better to me than my own. Previously, I considered the advice and kept an ear out only to discover that I write my dialogue the way my mom. sisters and I talk when we’re together. I decided my dialogue was perfectly normal and continued on my way until Anon. Now I’m rethinking. It’s difficult for a formal speaking person like me to do these revisions, but I’m determined to make my manuscript better.

Last week my daughter typed and posted rules for the girls’ room. Here is rule number eight from her sign: Do not rummage through our possessions. Perhaps formal diction runs in the genes.